Healthy Relationships

 Student Life & Services      August 28, 2020

Healthy relationships can be helpful for purposes other than just love and friendship... those relationships can provide accountability, trust-building, and social-wellness; they are important for you, and the WCU community at-large. No matter what your goals are relationship-wise, there is no excuse→ be respectful to others. Life is hard right now, but we are all in this together. At the core of any healthy relationship, the 'self' serves an important role. Check-in with yourself and make sure you are in a good place before jumping into a relationship. You know what is not cheesy? Loving yourself is 100% necessary for any healthy relationship to thrive. Self-care and communication are a YES, and it is O.K. to say no!

Tips:

Using an app (Tinder, Bumble, etc.)?

• Meet in a public place
• Tell a friend where you are going, and when
• Create a safe-word that you can text that friend, that way they can help you get out of a minor unwanted situation, if you so wish (ex. Calling you asking if you could come home to your apartment or dorm)

My girlfriend/boyfriend does not trust me, based on something they see. I try to show them my phone to help them see that nothing is there. They still do not believe me.

• Everyone has some sort of baggage
• Anyone can be insecure in their own ways. If you are who you say you are, you have nothing to worry about 
• Sometimes mistrust can be due to something you may be doing/have done, or a previous partner/friend/parent. Try to talk things out calmly, and do not let things fester.
• Sometimes people need reassurance, but you cannot/should not be their everything 

Breakups: Why are they good during, but can be manipulative after?

• If you breakup, there is a reason
• If things become manipulative, it can be because that person knows what triggers you. They may understand how to get you to respond. They may attempt to make you feel bad about yourself
• Talk to a friend, and maybe a professional! Friends and CAPS can help hold you accountable
• STOP scrolling. Take a break from social media... or at the least, theirs

How can I work towards a healthy relationship?

• Learn about your friend or partner's love language. What is yours?
• Make sure to balance time with friends and your partner, if you are in a relationship
• Communication, communication, communication
• Regardless of what stage in a relationship you are in, sex should always involve consent
• Avoid assumptions. Always ask questions if you are unsure about something
• It is okay if a partner likes a picture on Instagram. If you become uncomfortable with any behavior, check-in with yourself and then your partner. Talk about why a behavior may upset you. If you are unsure how to have this conversation in a healthy manner, talk to a professional first!

How do I come out to my parents about my relationship? The other person is non-binary and my parents are very anti-LGBT+.

• Talk to a professional first so you can have the support that you need. They can help you navigate through options and talk about safety precautions
• Go to CAPS to talk about things first, and then reach out to your parents if you feel comfortable. Remember this is all about you, and what you are ready/want to do

Resources:

• Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS)
• Department of Student Community Ethics (DSCE)
• Office of Student Affairs
• University Police Department (UPD)
• REACH of Macon County (provides emergency services to victims of domestic violence)